Love YOURSELF

“Love yourself first and everything falls into line.”
Lucille Ball quotes (American radio and motion-picture actress and comedy star, 1911-1989)

Make the decision today to love yourself. It sounds simple enough, but is it really that easy? Well, it can be! First, fall in love with yourself. Decide what makes you, you. What make's you great. Can't come up with something? I bet a mom, sister, or friend can. Really listen to what they have to say, they mean it! Love yourself for all the good that you see and accept your flaws and the fact that you are imperfect. This does not meant that you do not learn to change from your shortcomings; instead, you are being gentle and kind to yourself for all your flaws.

Be aware of self-criticism and STOP IT! Day to day notice how often you allow negative thoughts to creep in, and start one by one by correcting them and not allowing yourself to believe them.

Be kind and positive! Make it a habit to praise yourself everyday, while in the front of the mirror. Forgive yourself, be truthful to yourself, nurture your dreams!

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." —Mark Twain

Remember that you can't compare what you think is your worst trait with someone elses best trait, we all different and that is what makes life great! BELIEVE IT! LOVE YOURSELF!

Ditch the Diet!

Kay Steiger writes about Valerie Frankel's new book Thin Is the New Happy.

In her book, Frankel decides after decades of dieting to stop regimenting her food intake and actually deal with the emotional problems that cause her to diet in the first place—issues she has been ignoring her entire life. She stages confrontations with her mother, husband, and even a childhood enemy to figure out where the insecurities about her weight come from. Eventually, she realizes that her issues are preventing her from appreciating other important parts of life, like her two daughters.

In one experiment, she counts each time she has a negative thought about her body. She discovers it happens about 263 times in one day—that’s once every three and a half minutes. Her negative thoughts about her body surpassed her thoughts about sex, family, work, and money.

The results of Frankel’s experiment are hardly out of the ordinary. Most women today have a negative, chronic relationship with dieting and body image. A 2001 study showed that college women who diet have a much greater disparity between their perceived body image and their “ideal” body image than women who don’t diet. The misconceptions aren’t because their “ideal” body images are unrealistic; it is because they have unrealistic ideas about how heavy they actually are. A study this year explored a behavior known as "fat talk" or intensive conversations young women engage in about food and body size that often lead to negative perceptions of their bodies.

The problem with women’s body image is widespread and difficult to solve. Sure, the way women think about their bodies is shaped by presentations in magazines and advertising, but Frankel acknowledges that many of her deepest insecurities about her weight come from the way her mother harassed her about her weight and comments her husband once made. These were the wounds that ran the deepest.

Frankel’s book first caught public attention because of a chapter in which she talks about her experiences working for the now-defunct Mademoiselle magazine. She used a toxic combination of erratic dieting and cocaine to keep her weight down to avoid shame from other staff members. In the book, she reveals the destructive culture:

At staff lunches, the girl who ate the least won. I can’t count how often editors would announce after taking three bites of a sandwich, “Oh, God, I’m absolutely stuffed. I couldn’t possibly eat another bite.” Then, in classic control-freak fashion, they’d leave the barely dented sandwich on their desk all day long like a badge of honor, as in, “Look what I didn’t eat today!” […] Weight was our world. We couldn’t escape it.

Through her work on endless dieting and weight disorder articles at Mademoiselle, Frankel discovers she is a chronic dieter, which falls under the category of anorexia. Upon making this discovery, she longs for “full-blown anorexia for, like, a month.” She talks about how she wasn’t the only one who had such drastically out-of-touch expectations:

We did an article once on what it was like to be really, really fat in America. The model we used looked huge to us, but when the issue came out, readers sent in letters complaining that the woman in the pictures wasn’t nearly fat enough. She was normal, they wrote. At Mademoiselle, we didn’t know [fat] from normal.

Mademoiselle’s staff is something of an outlier when it comes to social groups, but expectations on women to look thin are all too common. Frankel decides that only by ending her relationship with dieting can she really be happy with herself. She begins working out regularly, stops obsessing about her body image, and buys herself a new wardrobe in her new personal style, thanks to help from her former colleague and What Not to Wear co-host Stacy London. Frankel even decides to take nude photographs to end her misperceptions about her body once and for all. (She could afford having the photos taken by a professional photographer by agreeing to run the photos along with an essay she wrote for the February 2007 issue of Self magazine.) Frankel certainly leaves no stone of self-image left unturned.

Frankel’s exploration into her issues with body image and dieting are a valuable exercise, but she had the luxury to take the time to do so. Frankel is a fairly successful writer in New York; she owns an apartment in Brooklyn where she lives with her husband and two daughters. She could afford to spend $2,000 on a new wardrobe. Her job during the months she worked on her book was to work through her emotional stress over dieting. In other words, the path that Frankel took couldn’t be replicated by a working-class woman. She also largely ignores the issues men have with body image and self-confidence.

Granted, some of the chapters could have been left out, like the fairly obvious realization that baking with real butter and sugar are superior to any margarine compound or Splenda. Still, Frankel’s book is worth reading, if only to help the reader identify some habits that he or she may not even be able to identify. Some of the lessons Frankel learns are valuable to everyone: Love your body for what it is, not for what you wish it were. Stop obsessing about counting calories and start appreciating the real joys in life, like friends and family. Corny, it’s true, but her quest is heartfelt, and most could learn from Frankel’s mistakes.

In the end, Frankel’s quest to achieve emotional balance gets her down to the dress size she’s always wanted to be: a size eight. (We don’t know if she ever achieved her desired weight—she stopped weighing herself at the beginning of the book.) It took years of struggle, but Frankel finally gets what she has always wanted. A book like Frankel’s is a warning sign; hopefully young women will decide to give up dieting, “fat talk,” and negative talk now—before they spend decades on self-destructive behavior.

Stars WIHTOUT makeup

It is often very easy to compare ourselves to those beautiful stars we see on TV and in movies but it is hard to remember that what we see is not always the real deal. Here are some pictures of stars with and without makeup to help you realize the truth. Enjoy!


Jennifer Gardner


Cameron Diaz


Eva Longoria


Drew Barrymore


Jessica Alba


Hillary Duff


What do you think?! How can we prevent ourselves from holding impossible standards?

Why Skinny Sells

Why skinny sells

Joanne Laucius, The Ottawa Citizen Published: Thursday, October 02, 2008

Women may say they want models to look 'real,' but they prefer products pitched by the model-thin

It gets even more strange. Although looking at skinny models makes women feel bad, they still like the products the models are hawking. And they are more likely to say they want to buy them than if they're being pitched by models with more normal heft.

Now that's twisted.

"In essence, women expect to see beautiful women in ads, even if it makes them feel worse about themselves," says Jeremy Kees, a business professor at Villanova University in Pennsylvania.

In one of his studies, Kees and a fellow marketing researcher found that, although female subjects felt badly about themselves after looking at ads with skinny models, they also evaluated the brands the models were selling more highly. The subjects who saw ads with regular-sized models didn't feel bad about themselves, but they also gave the brands a lower value.

The same researchers did another study in which they showed one group of college-age women a booklet of ads featuring thin models and another group a booklet that showed products but no models.

The students who saw the models were more likely to report feeling negative about their attractiveness, weight and physical condition. However, they were also more likely to report they would buy the brands in th

e ads. (Which may explain why you feel good when you go to Wal-Mart to buy a Rimmel lipstick hawked by Kate Moss.)

Building a Better Body Image

With our society being obsessed with looks and weight, it is hard to ignore the negative messages we receive about our bodies. But we do not have to passively accept those messages! Here are some great tips to build a better self image about yourself, don't allow your body image to continue to be twisted!


1. Experiment with what weight feels comfortable to you: Instead of just trying to be thin, find where your body feels great! Also be willing to accept weight variations throughout life, you cannot expect yourself to look like you did when you were 14 at age 25!

2. Experience your body as a whole: most of us judge our body parts individually, "my thighs are too fat, my breasts too droopy, my lips too thick." Try experiencing your body as a whole, rather than as separate parts that need improvement.

3. Find your own style or look: Instead of trying to conform to the brutal beauty ideal promoted by the media, experiment with finding a style or look that expresses something about yourself and feels good to you.

4. Embrace your curves: Reject the imposed ideals that womanhood must be suppressed. If you have a curvy body, embrace your curves as symbols of power and pride!

5. Recognize how much time you worry about how you look: Instead of being aware of what is going on inside of you or around you, try practicing mindfulness, look for what you can do for others, service brings more happiness than wearing a desired size ever will.

6. Give up the media for a week: Give up reading magazines (especially fashion magazines!) watching television, or surfing the internet. When you get the urge to click the remote control, go for a walk or invite a friend over. At the end of the week, notice if you feel differently about yourself.

7. Kill your inner supermodel: If you have an image of perfection in your head to which you're constantly comparing yourself, get rid of it. You think your nose is too big? Compared to whose? You consider your stretch marks flaws? Where is it written that our bodies should be free of lines or marks or scars? Such bodies do not exist in real life!

For more information please click here.

Say What?!?

Did You Know...

• That if shop mannequins were real women, they'd be too thin to menstruate
  
• There are 3 billion women who don't look like super-models and only 8 who do
• Marilyn Monroe wore a size 14

• Models 20 years ago weighed 8% less than the average woman. Today they weigh 23% less than the average woman.
• 7% of 12th grade males have used steroids in order to become more muscular
• If Barbie was a real woman, she'd have to walk on all fours due to her proportions

• Male action figures have greatly increased in muscular size since 1973; If GI Joe were human, he would have larger biceps than any bodybuilder in history
• The average woman weighs 144lbs and wears between a size 12-14
• One out of four college aged women has an eating disorder
• In a U.S. National survey, women feared being fat more than dying
• Americans spend more than 40 billion dollars a year on dieting and diet-related products. That's roughly equivalent to the amount the U.S. Federal Government spends on education each year

• 46% of 9-11 year old are sometimes or very often on diets
• 50% of 10th grade and 12th grade boys want a more muscular upper body
• It is estimated that 40-50% of American women are trying to lose weight at any point in time
• Underweight males have body images just as negative as overweight women's body images

Learning to ignore a cultural preference for thinness is a long, slow, perhaps lifelong process. To begin the process of change, you must make a choice- Live a life of frustration and disappointment because your body or some body part doesn't fit the ideal set out by media; or learn to accept your body as it is and move on! You Choose!

To see how your body image affects you click here .

General FAQ

QUESTION: What is body image?

ANSWER: Body image is the picture you have in your head of what you look like, along with your feelings, thoughts, and judgments about your body. Your body image is created from a bunch of different things, including the feelings connected to the picture you have of yourself in your head. Your body image is based on things like what you know from school about health and nutrition, how you grandma looks, how your friends and family talk about bodies and all of the images you see on TV, movies, videos and magazines.

QUESTION: What is negative body image?

ANSWER: Negative body image is not liking your body, your weight or specific body parts. It may also include disliking your hair, skin color, or facial features. Unfortunately, this is becoming a very common problem for not just girls and women, but boys and men too.

QUESTION: How can negative body image affect my health?

ANSWER: Reports show that only 2% of women around the world describe themselves as beautiful, this leads to unhealthy dieting: Girls are starting to diet younger than ever before. Taking drugs to lose weight: Depression and other mental illness: Disordered eating: One out of every ten girls and women develops some type of eating disorder.

QUESTION: How does the media effect body image in teens?

ANSWER: Advertising in teen magazines and on television usually glamorize skinny models that do not look like the average woman. In fact, today’s models generally weigh 23% less than the typical woman. The average person in the United States sees approximately 3,000 ads in magazines, billboards, and television every day, teenagers are getting the wrong message about body image much too often. 81% in the U.S. strongly agree that the media and advertising set an unrealistic standard of beauty that most women can never achieve.

QUESTION: Why don’t I look like the models I see in magazines and on TV?

ANSWER: It is a fact of life that most women cannot look like models or movie stars. The average model is 5’10” and weighs 110lbs and the average woman is 5’4” and 145lbs. Models spend a large percentage of their day engaged in activities that manipulate or shape their bodies. Photographs are almost always modified or enhanced in some way also. Not even the models look like their photographs.

QUESTION: How can I view the media and not be so affected by it?

ANSWER: Know that the media uses props, lighting and computer technology to make actors’ and models’ bodies look like the so-called “perfect image.” People’s shapes and sizes are often changed in the pages of magazines. So-called “imperfections” like acne, freckles, lines, wrinkles, skin folds and other unwanted features are airbrushed out. Splicing together body parts from several different photographs can create the media’s “perfect image” so what we see in a magazine ad is a lie. Remember that everyone is different. And it is not just normal but also wonderful to be that way!

QUESTION: Do boys have body image issues too?

ANSWER: The media and health agencies are reporting that body image issues have been becoming more and more of a problem for teen boys over the past decade. This is because boys re increasingly interested in their appearance including their hair, clothes, and physique. click here for more

QUESTION: How do I know if I have a good or bad body image?

ANSWER: Answer these questions and then read on to find out what your answer say about your body image.

1. Which parts of your body do you feel really good about?
2. What would you change about your body or the way you look? Why?
3. Do you have a relative you look like? Or have you been told that you look like a certain celebrity? IF so, how does it feel to know that you look like that person?
4. How much time do you spend getting ready before you go to school in the morning? Before you go on a date?
5. In general, how do you feel about food and eating? Is it something you enjoy, or something you feel worried, guilty or concerned about?
6. Is there something about your looks that would keep you home from school?
7. What steps would you take to change your body? Exercise? Cosmetic surgery? What’s too far?

When answering these questions, look for extremes. If, for example, there is not one thing you like about your looks or would have a very hard time if your skin broke out, you probably have low body image and need to work on it. If you found lots of things you like about your body and don’t spend too much time worrying about how you look, then you probably have a good body image.

QUESTION: How can I help my daughter to have a healthy body image?

ANSWER: Promote a healthy relationship with food by not using food as a reward or punishment. Teach your daughter to listen to her body and to trust its messages. Help your children to understand nutrition. Provide opportunities for your child to make her own food choices. Compliment your children often on their strengths, accomplishments and efforts instead of focusing on weight, size or appearance. Consider not having scales in the house and avoid commenting on your own weight concerns. Have family activities that involve getting outside the house and being active. Recognize that weight gain, like the development of breasts and hips is a normal part of puberty. Help your daughter accept these changes. Teach your children about diversity. Listen to your daughter and make time to talk to your daughter about what is going on in her life.

QUESTION: What can I do to feel better about my body?

ANSWER: Recognize how and when physical appearance is falsely linked to being healthy, happy and successful. Join a support group for women that celebrate the range of womens natural shapes, and to stop unhealthy dieting. Become involved in a group pressuring media to change the way they show women. Appreciate all that your body can do. For more ideas click here.